Son of a Nun

The Convent, VIP Style! March 28, 2009

The first time I went over to the convent I was four years old. Pat, my future Mom, was only my babysitter at the time and had not yet been granted foster or adoption rights over me. As I began spending more time in her custody, the more frequent we visited the convent. Every visit to the convent taught me something, but one of the most important life lessons I learned was “how to get what you want”! With more than thirty nuns all chomping at the bit to come greet the cutest four year old in the neighborhood, I was treated like royalty and learned how to use my VIP status to my advantage. But all of the royalties came at a price! I had to endure cheek pinching!

It should be no surprise that Nun’s know how to give their hospitality, but with over thirty Nun’s, the entire building was like a little boys playground with candy in every corner. Every time I entered the forty-plus room single story highschool turned living quarters, I was handed a bowl of candy. I had my hand in the candy faster than I had my hand in the bowl of holy water when entering church on Sunday’s. The array of Worthers’, Jolly Ranchers, and Starbursts kept my hands busy for a good portion of my visits. When I had eaten myself rotten with candy, I’d run down to the large kitchen and dining hall to splurge on popsicles and freshly made cookies. When that wasn’t enough there was always a Nun willing to make me a sandwich of my choosing. In fact, there were Nun’s whose sole duty was to keep the kitchen stocked with food. They must have accounted for my visits because every time I came over they had my favorite chocolate nut bars.

They also had a dedicated cook that would come in to make meals for lunch and dinner. I seemed to get something different than everyone one else when items like soup where being handed out as the main course for dinner. I wasn’t a complainer, but they could tell if I didn’t like something by the wrinkles on my nose and forehead. I learned to get picky because I knew they had what I wanted. But, greediness was far from the truth. If it’s one thing I’ve learned about Nun’s it is that they have the ability to smell greediness from a mile away.

They allowed me to splurge on the food and candy, probably because it was a great learning lesson for “manners”. Each Nun had their own training tactic before they handed me candy, a sandwich, or a popsicle. Some needed to hear “thank you”, for others, it was a “thank you Sister” followed by them pinching me on the cheek as I smiled thankfully at them. I quickly learned that politeness went a long way!!

Stay tuned…“Survival Skills of the Cheek Pinchers” is coming up tomorrow!